Sila’s Feast Day
February 9th, 2010
Sila’s last day was full of wonderment and magic, beauty and, of course, deep sadness for all of us who had the immense privilege of sharing her life. She was fifteen and a half years old, and although it was the time for her to go, she still enjoyed life to the very end. Brian, Jordan and Elizabeth took her to Frye Cove park, and she made her typical round of the park with a big smile on her face, enjoying the many smells along the way. When we left the park we all saw a llama that we had never seen standing behind a fence—so she got her own animal “lama” priest as part of the day! The pain medication provided by Dr. Hook helped her to relax and enjoy as much chicken and rice in bone broth as she wanted to eat. Betty and Matthew joined us as the afternoon went on, and she got lots of pets & kisses in her final hours. Dr. Hook was due to arrive at 3:00, but at 2:55 Sila the Wonderdog decided she wanted to go for a last walk across the Steamboat Island Bridge. The entire day had been cloudy, but while we were on the bridge the sun burst out and everyone was happy and laughing in the warmth and light which lasted the rest of the evening. Sila especially fancied mussel shells, which we usually did not let her eat because they also messed with her digestion. But on that final bridge walk, nobody stopped her from having a last delicacy. Boy oh boy was it was delicious! She even had the consideration to drop a big poo on the bridge, an accomplishment which always brings great relief to all those around her. Dr. Hook and her assistant drove by while we were on the bridge, and waited with Betty at the house for us to get back.
Dr. Meagan Hook was wonderful, as was her assistant. We had only met her once last Thursday, when she gave us the news that Sila had a tumor growing in her liver. Sila and Brian and Elizabeth liked her then, so we decided she would be the right vet to come into our home to help Sila into the big sleep. Brian remembered that there is a Tibetan practice called the “Compassionate Hook” that is used on animals at the time of death, so her name seemed particularly auspicious! Dr. Hook explained that she would be inserting a catheter and then doing a test with saline to be sure that everything worked before administering the dose that would end Sila’s life. She told us that it would be very quick, and that Sila would probably be gone before the full injection. We all touched and stroked her, telling her goodbye. After the injection started, it seemed that time stopped for a long moment. Sila suddenly raised her head and turned around behind her to look directly into Jordan’s eyes, the original person that she had chosen as a puppy almost sixteen years ago. Jordan could not put the experience into words very well, but he said that as he looked into her eyes in her final seconds, he had an experience of whiteness and greyness, her eyes blue instead of amber, as if her wolfy being shone through at the very end. She left him, and all of us with a profound blessing.
We all cried a lot, and spent the next few hours telling stories about her epic life. The time that Jordan went to the puppy farm and she came running across the yard to leap into his arms. The time she was bitten by a rattlesnake with Elizabeth and nearly died—saved by a Sikh family clothed in beautiful silk saris and turbans who interrupted a religious ceremony more than an hour’s drive away to come to her rescue in their vet clinic. The time she and her sister-dog Jessie were attacked by coyotes, and she became Nurse Sila to help Jessie recover from her wounds. The time she found a pair of glasses that Jordan had lost in the desert wilderness. Her incredible strength and agility in her prime years, her love of the wild that she shared especially with Elizabeth. Sila “pulling a Ghandi”, in her later years, going into passive resistance so she could sit outside the door by the road and greet everyone who came onto the Island. She had many friends and fans throughout her long life, some of whom we never even knew. Over the years, many, many people would stop us to comment on her extraordinary beauty. It was unusual to take her for a walk without this happening, and we always felt proud as punch to be connected to her. Even as an old dog, she was still gorgeous, like a movie star who never aged with her Cleopatra eyeliner. Very small children on several occasions called her a wolf, rather than a dog. How did they know that she was part wolf? “I want to pet the wolfy-wolfy!” was a quote often repeated and enacted.
We will be sad a long time over her passing, but we are grateful for everything she gave us. At the end, she was both lots of work and lots of joy, so there is a large void within those of us who loved her. We hope to fill it by putting the goodness and magic we felt from knowing Sila into everything we do for the rest of our lives.
Sila taking a routine flight.
Her Majesty the Wonderdog